Worst Hit Songs of 2023

 

Another year, another new list of songs for the year thanks to Billboard. This year has the country boom. A lot more country has hit the charts than I can ever remember. Nashville learned how to use streaming to promote its artists. In addition, the regional Mexican scene significantly impacted the Billboard charts. I wish I could get into either of these genres. I have never gotten into country music. This doesn't mean I hate the genre; I am mostly indifferent. Regional Mexican music is not in English, so I can't care about it either. The genres alternative, rock, and rap had a down year on the charts. That being said, let's go over my least favorite hits of the year.

Dishonorable Mentions:

• Creepin' by Metro Boomin', the Weeknd & 21 Savage (Year-end Spot: #5): This is an example of soulless sampling. The producer, Metro Boomin', had Weeknd sing "I Don't Wanna Know" by Mario Winans (The Weekend sounds great, by the way.) and forgot to put in any of the original song's emotion. This song only exists because people might be nostalgic for a better original song.
• Spin Bout U by Drake and 21 Savage (#43): For starters, I do like the R&B sample and 21 Savage has a decent verse. Drake, however, is the issue. He calls the Supreme Court (and their decision to overturn Roe v. Wade) "men who never got pussy in school are making laws about what women can do." After this line, Drake makes it clear that he wants to control this woman so he can have copious amounts of sex with her. And keep her from her friends who he may have also had sex with.
• Superhero (Heroes & Villians) by Metro Boomin', Future & Chris Brown (#38): I got bored listening to this song and turned it off. Can someone tell me how it ends?
• Just Wanna Rock by Lil Uzi Vert (#28): I really want to like this. Uzi is giving their all for this song. However, it is way too short. This song is an intro without any middle, climax, or conclusion.
• What It Is (Block Boy) by Doechii feat. Kodak Black (#76): Doechii is fine, but Kadak sounds like he is struggling to stay on the beat for this song.

Now for the list proper:

10. Made You Look by Meghan Trainor (#53)

    I like a throwback tune. I like songs that remind me of older music. One of my top tracks of the year sounds like a '70s yacht rock song. However, throwbacks can be done poorly. Enter Meghan Trainor. Throwbacks exist to remember to best parts of music. You see many grunge-inspired songs, but not a lot of nu-metal songs. Meghan is remembering the whitest, stiffest form of doo-wop. It sounds lame and square. Plus, throwbacks need a smoothness to them. Sadly, Meghan has been given cheap production that cannot hide how fake this sounds. 

9. Search & Rescue by Drake (#45) (Profanity Warning)

    Well, Drake has decided to be mediocre again. This song is four and a half minutes long. This would be a fine length if he did anything with it. Instead, he plays the same downbeat piano chords for the entirety of the song. This makes the song sound boring. Not even the Kim Kardashian sample in the middle can make it interesting. He has made this same song way too many times and the recipe keeps being stale.

8. Fukumean by Gunna (#31) (Profanity Warning)

    I don't like trap music. The production is way too dark and downbeat. No one sounds like they are having fun, and the lyrics aren't good enough to justify the production and delivery. In this song, Gunna "shits on little turds (He must make a big turd.) and "f-ing the bitch like a perv." Each line is ended with this annoying "Yup" sample. This song is a drag to listen to.

7. Last Night by Morgan Wallen (#1) (Profanity Warning)

    How did this song reach number 1, and how did it stay there for three months? This song is offensively bland. It is not interesting in any way. The lyrics themself are also atrocious. Morgan is having woman issues, but he must brag about the drunk sex he's having. Wallen also thinks this will not be the last time because he doesn't know how drunk hookups work. The production is nothing to write home about. It is too depressing for a song that is supposed to be optimistic. 

6. Rich Flex by Drake & 21 Savage (#14) (Profanity Warning)

    The last Drake entry was boring. This was a ripoff of Sicko Mode. 21 Savage's verse is forgettable, except for the part where he samples "Savage" poorly. Then the beat switches. On Sicko Mode, the beat switch amps up the song, leading to Travis Scott's verse. In Rich Flex, however, it stops the song's momentum completely. The next part has Drake singing in a romantic tone, "All of you hos." This makes me laugh. Then the third part kicks in out of nowhere, leading to another forgettable verse. This song feels like three ideas clumsily pasted together instead of one coherent song. 

5. Under the Influence by Chris Brown (#17) (Profanity Warning)

    I am mostly impressed that Chris Brown has had a career this long. He first got big in 2005 and is still charting almost 20 years later. And not even a domestic violence charge could stop his career. This song is from 2019 and went viral on TikTok this year. This is a mess. The production is garbage, especially the weedy synth loop that comes in after the chorus. Chris Brown is smothered in bad autotune. The lyrics are Chris asking a girl to come home without the charisma to sell it. However, the line "make it hurricane on it" does give me a chuckle. 

4. Daylight by David Kushner (#62)

    Here we have Diet Hozier because giving Hozier a second hit would make too much sense. Instead, we have David. David made an empty song with bland, generic lyrics that he drones at full throttle. It's uninspired, bland, and a boring listening experience.

3. Peaches and Eggplants by Young Nudy feat. 21 Savage (#94) (Profanity Warning)

    Well, I hope we don't see much from Young Nudy again after this song. He seems like an obnoxious waste of space in his verse. This song uses the word "boaw" way too much. He also sounds like he is struggling to stay on beat. 21 Savage, his cousin, has an okay verse, even though he doesn't fit the vibe of the sex song. I like how he tells the girl not to use her teeth during a blowjob. Sound advice.

2. Thinkin' Bout Me by Morgan Wallen (#19)

    Wallen wrote a song about how much his ex-girlfriend, who has obviously moved on, is thinking about him. Because she should be with him instead. So Morgan, do you want how much she is thinking about you? I will answer it right now to help you out. She isn't, not one second. She moved on and found someone better. Now shut up and stop bothering her.

1. I'm Good (Blue) by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha (#10) (Profanity Warning)

    This is the laziest song I have heard in a long time. David Guetta did not do much work. He samples a well-remembered 2000s song, "Blue (Da Ba Di)" by Eiffel 65. And he is not sampling it because of inspiration; he is sampling it because people are becoming nostalgic for the 2000s now. And Bebe Rexha's lyrics look like a first draft with the most obvious changes. I like to think that artists spend some time and effort creating the song before it gets released, but I don't believe they spent more than five minutes on this song. Due to their laziness, this is my #1 worst hit song of 2023.

Thanks for reading. I would like to thank the YouTube channels that helped inspire my writing. Thank you Billboard Breakdown, the CHR83, and Todd in the Shadows. I hope to actually write a best list for this year next week.