2022: pop music's filler year. The charts started with a ton of stagnancy. Many of 2021's big hits were also big hits in 2022. Pop stars tried to have their songs take off, and many of them failed. Eventually, there were some new songs, but it was too late. Now let's look at the worst parts of this year.
These songs come from Billboard's Top 100 songs for 2022. If the song charted last year or is really old (i.e. Christmas music) it will not make the list.
Dishonorable Mentions:
- First Class by Jack Harlow (Year-end list: #6): This song is not terrible, it's just disappointing. Jack can do better than this song. It is dominated by an obvious sample of a terrible song. Some people sample cool musicians, but he chose to sample Fergie. And Jack's lyrics are unimpressive and forgettable, forcing you to focus on the sample.
- AA by Walker Hayes (#61): Corny country song about how hard he tries to not screw up. It feels like a blatant re-tread of "Fancy Like," a song we did not need again.
- You Proof by Morgan Wallen (#27): Another lame country song with an unnecessary trap beat and some other questionable production choices.
- Take My Name by Parmalee (#82): Lame country song about marriage.
- Jimmy Cooks by Drake and 21 Savage (#33): Another boring Drake song
10. Tie: Big Energy by Latto(#7) and Super Freaky Girl by Nicki Minaj (#56) (Language Advisory for both songs)
These are a tie because they follow pop music's recent annoying trend: too-obvious sampling and doing nothing with it. If you couldn't tell, Latto uses "Genius of Love" by the Tom Tom Club (also "Fantasy" by Mariah Carey), and Nicki uses "Super Freak" by Rick James. Sampling can be a fun way to recycle a song and make a fresh take on it. This is not what's happening here. They use sampling to say "Look! I sampled that song." Other than that Latto misuses the phrase "big dick energy," and Nicki basically makes an "Anaconda" clone with a different sample.
9. She Likes It by Russel Dickerson feat. Jake Scott (#91)
This song has one major problem: its production. The lyrics are just the guys saying what their ladies like, but the title said that. but that guitar line and the fake snaps are too loud and overpower the rest of the song. If this song was mixed properly, it would be a problem.With it, however, it sounds amateur as hell.
8. Unholy by Sam Smith and Kim Petras (#98)
First, I want to talk about the song's positives. I kinda like the production. It could totally work in a better song. Everything else is messy. This mess was caused by Smith and Petras in pandering to three separate groups. First, the TikTok crowd. They made this song for TikTok. Because of that, it is way too short. This song feels like it needs to be at least five minutes long to flesh out the story their talking about and perhaps, another artist. Second, they are pandering to Sam Smith's audience. Smith has created a fanbase of mostly middle-aged women, so they can't be too spicy or lusty, for fear of losing that audience. So Sam Smith is more restrained than they should be. Third, the LGBTQ+ community. It feels like a win to have the biggest non-binary and trans artists on a song together, but they have no chemistry. Sam makes soulful, tasteful music, while Kim released an album called Slut Pop. It's just a mismatch of major proportions.
7. Me Porto Bonito by Bad Bunny feat. Chencho Corleone (#20)
I don't normally put Spanish songs on this list because it's part of a culture I do not understand. This time, there is one aspect I hate: Chencho Corleone's voice. It is nasal, whiny, and overall unpleasant. Bad Bunny may sound fine, but Corleone drops this song onto the list.
6. Super Gremlin by Kodak Black (#9) (Language Advisory)
Well, this guy's voice is annonying. I got tired of ithalfway through the video. His "sandy" vocals get really irritating really quick. And I do not appreciate his use of the word "retarded." Add some chipmunk vocals, which are also annoying and you get this worthless song.
5. I Ain't Worried by OneRepublic (#37)
Remember in 2013 when OneRepublic decided to a take risks and stop being Coldplay ripoffs? Well, that didn't last. Now that Coldplay is not having hits, who will they rip off? The answer: Portugal. The Man. I know, it's just the generic "indie" sound that mainstream record labels have re-created for the past decade, but it sounds way too much like "Feel It Still." The retro groove, the falsetto vocals plus some whistling. Plus, Portugal. The Man just happed to release a song called "What Me Worry" earlier this year. And as always, they are much worse than the orginal product. The whistling is overdone and annoying. The song is much less fun than "Feel It Still," and Ryan Tedder's falsetto is much weaker.
4. Enemy by Imagine Dragons & J.I.D. (#15)
This is so sad for me. I think back to 2012. This band was starting to get radioplay and I was looking forward to their future. A decade later, and it's all gone wrong. This songs sound like a mix of bad production choices topped with some bad vocals. The orchestra hit that comes in too many times and the vocals that a pitch-shifted down in the post-chorus are notable bad ideas. And Dan Reynolds can not hit those high notes well and the pseudo-rap verse was done better on "Believer." J.I.D. does have a good rap verse, but it feels very out of place.
3.abcdefu by GAYLE (#17) (Language Advisory)
What do you get when you mix immature with unlikable? This song. She is mad at her ex and acts like she has bit her tongue about him for a long time. I believe that amount of time was 15 minutes. I do not believe anything from her. Is he really a douche or are you? I am 100% siding with the ex.
2. pushin P by Gunna and Future feat. Young Thug (#48) (Language Advisory, I think)
One of my least favorite things I hear in music is a lack of effort and this song is covered in it. The gimmick is that they use a lot of words that start with the letter P, but they don't do that with any consistency. Then, they have their stupid lyrics. Gunna turned a girl from a lesbian to a pesbian and thought that line was funny. Young Thug also "just fucked a cup of water" because that isn't weird. In addition, the beat is weak and uninteresting and most of the time, the vocals are too slurred to understand.
Before #1, I want to list some song I dislike that are closer to what I listen to. I like alternative, and these bad songs werepick from the year-end Alternative Airplay and Adult Alternative Airplay charts.
- Toxic by BoyWithUke: Whiny losers need songs, too.
- Record Player by Daisy the Great and AJR: The original song, "Record Player Song" by Daisy the Great, is a sparse song with some relatable lyrics. Then, AJR walk in, cuts the good lyrics for lazy ones, and adds some bad production.
- I Won't by AJR: They make bad solo music, too.
- Grace by Marcus Mumford: Too much oversinging from Mumford with the weird guitar in the background.
- Alpha Zulu by Phoenix: This one is just a little disappointing from a band that can do better.
First off, this Broadway is in Nashville, not New York. The two performers are obviously classy gentlemen who love theatre. It's a story about Morgan meeting some chicks at Jason Aldean's bar. Second, Morgan Wallen's singing is terrible. It way too grating, especially when Wallen can do better. Third, they are complaining about how they don't trust the girls of Broadway because they use them for money and sex. You know that these are personal choices, right? You can always not buy them drink or have sex with them. No one is forcing you to. Finally, the prduction is a stiff trap beat and a guitar line that don't mix together at all.
Thanks for reading. Hopefully, my Best Hit Songs list will come out next week.
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